Araki: The Prelude

Araki sat at his desk. Staring down at the paper, he was thinking up the next big plot twist for Jojolion. An endless stream of ideas flowed through the war deity's head. Maybe Josuke was actually Hitler from Part 2 the whole time? Maybe the Rokakaka was made of Liberian children's livers, and the Higashikata family is a clan of fucking psychos? That's when the noise first registered within his ears... "90 YEARS OLD!" What. The. Fuck. He had firmly established the head doctor of TG University Hospital was 89 years old. This heresy could exist no more. He demolished the wall of his house, springing forward at an incalculable speed. The poor buffoon who had made the fallacy was instantly vaporized, as Araki looked for something to take out his anger on, noticed a small grocery store near his massive underground bunker. The shoppers within didn't stand a chance. Throwing a shopping kart with the force of the Tsar Bomba, 48 people in the store were decapitated. He then proceeded to juggle their heads around and slaughter the remaining shoppers by tossing the heads of their deceased loved ones at them with the force of a cannon. That's when he sighted his final victim. The short, dweebish looking man could only stare back in terror at the unfathomable god-entity before him. Araki punched him in the diaphragm, tearing a hole in it as had been depicted so many times in his stories. The man started melting and being absorbed into Araki's forearm, to be tormented forever in the Big Boy Zone. All was quiet. No action would be taken, for the government of Japan answered to Araki. As the innocents in the grocery store died, a dream died. Araki simply stood there and whispered one thing to himself - "Neigga macaroni."

[remove the e from the second to last word of the actual paragraph fuck you fandom]